Grace is offensive.

Well ya'll I went running, which got me thinking, which got me writing.

I’ve found in my recent years of truly running after Jesus that I find myself offended, but not by what one would think. I find myself offended time and time again by grace. The gospel I believe is not only a story of love but of offensive grace. 

Friends, God’s power is beyond words. He created the world, He set everything into motion, He breathed everything into existence. Yet still, even though we sinned He set up a plan to make sure we could still be with Him in the end. God in His almighty power sent His only son, to come and live with us. To live a life of love and miracles, to be the only one who has ever walked this earth and lived an absolutely perfect life, completely sinless, completely surrendered to the Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ came down so that He could ultimately create a path for us to return the heaven one day with God. 

Jesus Christ came and suffered for us.

Jesus Christ died on a cross for us, for our sins. 

Jesus Christ was buried in a grave.

Jesus Christ rose from that same grave three days later, beating death in that moment to be with us yet again. 

Jesus Christ ascended back to heaven so that all who repent and believe in Him will be saved.

Knowing me, knowing us, all of our sin and shame and failures. Knowing we would deny Him, knowing we would make mistakes, knowing that humanity is truly broken and lost, He poured out grace and love to make a path so we can be with Him. Not doing anything to deserve it, not doing anything to earn it, not having anything to give Him in return, but simply because God loves us so much He refuses to be separated from us.  

Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. There my friends is my honest offense. Why do I get grace, this “unconditional love” just thrown at me when I have absolutely nothing to give back. Grace is being loved by God when the world has deemed you unlovable, its a love that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the lover(God). In a world that has taught my generation its all about me, its all about what you can bring to the table and you better have the best thing, its all about what you can do, the gospel is screaming the opposite. So I find myself both in constant tension and constant offense. Grace is irrational in the sense that it has nothing to do with weights and measures. It has nothing to do with my intrinsic qualities or so-called “gifts”. It reflects a decision on the part of the giver, the one who loves, in relation to the receiver, the one who is loved, that negates any qualifications the receiver may personally hold. Simply put, grace is a one way love from God and all we can do is receive it. 

Friends, I am far from getting everything right, from living exactly like Jesus did, and I miss the mark almost daily. Yet, I’m able to try again and again because of this out pouring of grace from God. Before I followed Jesus, I was constantly striving to be perfect and hated myself every single time I fell short. When I disappointed people, when they disappointed me, my world was sent into chaos because I relied on people, on humanity, who is flawed above all else. When I start following Jesus and I began to rely on Him, the grace that was poured out on me I could give to others, even if they could give me nothing back and my world was no longer shattered when people disappointed me. It became my new response because thats how I was being taught from Jesus.

I find myself offended by grace because I was so comfortable living in the worlds standards and there was a part of my being that trying to earn my keep, opposed to just receiving love for no reason, for nothing other than because God loves me that much and wants to. It sends my skin screaming, it blows my mind daily because I can not wrap my mind around it no matter how hard I try. It sends me for a loop because I’m left to just receive it, unable to give anything in return. 

So here I am, learning and running after Jesus. Being brought through constant refinement, being brought to my knees in repentance when I fall short, but being loved for exactly who I am because I choose to follow Jesus and I will continue to choose Him, time and time again. Even when our world is falling apart, people are hurting each other, and chaos surrounds the nations, I will choose Him. Because the reason the world is in so much hurt and pain is because there was a time where we didn't choose Him and we choose ourselves, and we’ve lived in that since. So even if its against the tide, even if its against what the world is telling me, I will choose Him because He is the only one who could love me with me being unable to give anything in return. He is the only one who can pour out grace to ones who don’t deserve it, but will continue to do it anyway.