This summer was full of joy but this summer was also hard.

And just like that, in one simple blink of the eye, this summer has come and gone.

This summer I had the honor of being able to partner with Catalyst Training School's Summer Program and was able to help the staff and come along side 38 young adults who were hungry for more of God. I got to witness these beautiful souls God put in front of me lay their lives down for a summer and dive head first into all of who Jesus is. I saw passion get sparked within their hearts, I saw hope come back into their eyes and I saw Jesus pour his love out on every single one of them as they sought him out for more. How wonderful is our God that He never fails to meet us in our seeking, He hears our cries and meets us in ways we never thought possible.

This summer I was blessed to meet 38 world changers and get to now call them my friends. Every moment this summer was marked by Gods love, laughter and raw community. We went after the heart of God together and the Lord is bringing kingdom shakers back to their hometowns that are now more than equipped to fight for Him. I got to see 38 faces change by encountering the love of a Father every day for three months. I got to see single individuals walk into a moment where they had to actively choose Jesus and lay down the worlds promises in pure faith, not knowing what their yes was going to mean. I got to learn more about Jesus in these 38 incredible friends than I ever thought this summer was capable of. I was blessed to make some of the best memories that I get to hold onto forever because God loves each of us that much to give us those kind of gifts. This summer we had four outreach teams go out into the nations and radically love on those across the world, share the gospel, bring healing, and encounter people with Gods love. Those four teams came back with a fire that will never cease because they partnered with God in reaching the lost and broken and brought love back into their hearts!

This summer I had the honor of serving the staff through the little tasks, preparing snack, through organizing details, and through laying down my life in the background. I didn't have a job that I had deemed as 'important' but the Lord used me as a glue to help spur on the other staff who were being called to lead in greater measures. I threw myself against the rock of humility time and time again, and realized that as long as I was being seen by God then being seen by man doesn't really matter.

This summer was full of joy but this summer was also hard. I'm in a constant wrestle to know who God is to me, to match what I've been taught and know to what I actually believe about Him. I know God is good, faithful, loving and true, but I let my circumstances tell me the exact opposite and the Lord allowed me to choose what I was going to believe about Him through it all. Honestly, there were times that I chose wrong, and I chose to be disappointed and angry at God because that's what my circumstances were telling me to feel. There were also times where I got to choose to believe how faithful God is and carry a hope in Him rather than letting those circumstances make me disheartened towards God. This summer like the season before is continuing to mold me into a heart that's worthy of Jesus and what it means to follow him.

This summer I had to be kindly reminded of the anger that still remains within my heart, and purely by Gods grace is it finally being exposed so I can fight it and get rid of it so I no longer have to live succumbed by it. I experienced testing and tension and hardships all while uncovering the way I respond to circumstances, and honestly not liking the way I do at all. I felt out of control in my emotions, and I could see how my sharp words inflicted wounds on people that I care about most. Obviously that't neither my hearts intention or how God created me, but rather how the enemy was holding me back. I was able to be surrounded by key people in my life who spoke truth into who they know I am, and pursue the freedom that's before me. They saw my heart and fought to believe the best about me when I wasn't acting my best.

Whats up next you might ask....?

Well, through prayer and shut doors by God, I have decided to do Catalyst Training School's Second Year Program to further my training in leadership, ministry, and restoration. It is with some hesitation that I step into this next season but I will choose to believe that the Lord is in it and will be faithful to meet me in ways I don't yet know I need.

What I do need though, is prayer. (Don't we all!) I need prayer for a few things.
1. Pray for my family and that God would continue to bring healing and restoration in the midst of chaos and hurt.
2. Pray for my next season as the Lord would continue working and exposing this deep root of anger that's been burdening my heart for far too long.
3. Pray for my family here in Tacoma and that they would receive radical provision in the coming season!
4. Pray for Catalyst Training school, the staff (Adam, Jenny, Stephen, Shane, Elizabeth, Aimee) as they pour their lives and hearts out because they believe in the next generation being raised up. 
5. And pray for me. Please prayerfully consider joining with me in this next journey; I need to raise $3500 to cover Second Years tuition. More urgently, I need to pay the $300.00 deposit to secure my spot in the school by this Sunday! If you would like to join with me financially, please feel free to message me and I can let you know how.

My heart misses Arizona more than words can express but its also found a new home here in Tacoma. I deeply love you all, thanks for reading and caring so much about me.

I pray God blesses you so much and fills you with so much love and joy today!

Going, learning, praying.

Well friends, there's about a thousand things to catch you up on.
My bad team.

March-May
I went to El Salvador, God radically encountered my team and myself while we were there. I got to witness healing to both bodies and souls. I spent two week covered by the Lords presence in the darkest of places. He opened not only my eyes, but my heart to the nations. The cry of my heart is no longer, "Jesus wont you save Tanzania", but rather, "Lord flood the nations with revival." It was in the streets of San Salvador that God gave me His heart for His people. It was the children dancing during worship that my heart started singing His praises again. It was seeing my team lay their lives down whole heartedly for weeks to serve the one in front of them, over and over and over again that my perspective began to change. I was meeting my Heavenly Father in silent prayers that I began to see Him shifting His church, His people, His nation right in front of my eyes.

Going to El Salvador re-ignited my passion for people, to love them endlessly and to share what I know about the love of a Father desperate for relationship with His children.
Going to El Salvador opened my eyes to the generations before me and how hungry they are to know their identity, to fill that missing piece the world will never satisfy.
Going to El Salvador changed my heart all over again, it became awakened to the sensitivity of the Holy Spirit and how the Father feels for His children all around.
Going to El Salvador strengthened my self proclaimed little silent prayers to out shouts of revival and salvation to break forth.

All in all, it was an amazing trip with countless memories and some pretty terrific pupusas.

May-June
I graduated the Catalyst Seminary First Year program, whoop whoop! Your girl made it through 9 months of sharing a house with 30 people, intense study of the scriptures and teachings of Jesus, heart surgery part two, and the oh so infamous growing and maturing process. I've survived and I've learned.

I've learned that I am desperate for community in order to see radical healing in my own life, that I was never meant to ever do life on my own.
I've learned that there is such a beauty in taking the time to both meditate and study the scriptures, that in those very moments God feels closer than He ever has to me.
I've learned that correction and discipline done right will spring about more growth than seeking out trying to control someone or "fix them."
I've learned that asking for help is when I became the strongest version of myself.
I've learned that it is not without patience, training, and humbling myself to learn from those wiser than me that I will ever be able to step into my calling.
And I've learned that radical faith is paired with action and trusting that ultimately it is ALL in Gods capable hands.

It was a hard year up in Tacoma, Washington. But it was a year that will mark my heart for the rest of my life. It was a year that brought about change in who I am and brought my into the happiness and pure joy The Lord had always wanted for me.

Thank you friends for your prayers, phone calls, and moments I've gotten to share with you! As I move forward into a new season I am staying in Tacoma for another year. I had sure faith that God has some more things for me and my heart up here and much more learning to do!

This summer I will be staffing the Catalyst Summer Program for the new 38 students that are hungry and chasing after more of God whole heartedly. Being able to serve the very program that sparked so much freedom and change in my own heart is amazing and I cant wait for what the summer holds and how the Lord will meet students. Between you and me, I think they are so much cooler than my class ever was. 

I ask you keep praying for me! I need finical provision desperately since I'm volunteering and working part-time praying that God will provide the means to get by and not over work myself as I save up for a car. (Thanks again mom for letting me borrow yours!)

Also pray for our students that they be softened to The Lord voice this summer and the workings He is doing in their hearts. Pray for courage to explore the harden parts of their hearts and for vulnerability to be released within their friendships, small groups, and families. Pray for protection over them because the enemy will attack them hard since they are laying down what the world has deemed as important and are focusing whole heartedly on God for 7 weeks.

Love you all!

But God I love 'IT'...

'It', the infamous, all consuming, cant bare to part with, please you cant take this one, 'it'. 'It' can look different to all of us, 'it' can be a place, a thing, a person, a memory, an emotion, a dream, a plan, anything! But what does look the same is the fact that 'it' being taken away, no matter what 'it' is can destroy you and leave you on your knees.

I had this revelation a week ago when I was forced to finally take my car, named Bruce, to the auto body shop because he was more than broken. (I refer to my car as a person all to often, so just accept it and lets move on.) I knew it would be costly, as most repairs are, but I cried out and prayed to Jesus that it would be a $300 dollar price tag so I would be able to pay for it as well as my airfare deposit for El Salvador. Sure enough a week and a heart wrenching conversation later, I was told that my car would in fact cost $2,500 to fix at minimum. Tears flooded my eyes.

Now before you write me off as an entitled brat who didn't plan well, like I had even felt for myself, let me tell you the back ground and reasons for my tears. Its basically the straw that broke my back scenario. I'm going to bring you into my heart in this moment, before this I had already felt like the Lord was stripping me of everything I was holding onto prior. Things that I thought were good and right and frankly what I thought I deserved. Yet still after putting up a fight to not let go, I ended up releasing and giving it all to God anyway because He always told me it would be worth it.

What had I let go of you might wonder? Well, in complete transparency because that's what I'm all about, broadly I thought I had let go of my life. Specifically I let go of, my schooling in Flagstaff and what I had thought was my solid and good plan to become a teacher. I let go of my dearly treasured Wyldlife girls in Flagstaff that I was starting to live life with so closely. I also let go of my Wyldlife teammates, more like family, which was more than heart breaking. I let go of my old relationship, I let go of my best and closest friends. I let go of being close to my family and loved ones. I let go of Arizona to embark on a brand new adventure in the Pacific North freaking West. Then I came up here, and then I began to let go of my plans, ALL of them. My money because it was getting put into First Year. I let go of my expectations of what I thought I was going to have in coming up here. I let go of people that I really liked having in my life, I let go of my heart and who I wanted to have it. Then what felt like I had nothing more to give, Jesus took my wheels. (see what I did there!)

This wouldn't have mattered so much normally but the reason I think it did hit me so hard was because I didnt know what I was holding onto while holding onto my car. Guess what it was? Ready for it....independence. A car meant I could go where I want, when I want, and not have to depend on anyone. Talk about a blow to both my ego and my heart. In being faced with the GIANT auto bill I also had to make a decision, was I going to El Salvador anymore or was I going to choose my independence. I couldnt afford either so it then felt like I was going to lose my car and my dream to go to El Salvador. So yeah it really did break me.

So naturally I got very, very mad at God. Yelling and screaming saying that "He couldn't do this anymore, that I had nothing else for Him to take away." I cried out asking "why He would do this if in laying my life down He wasn't going to show up in any ways!" It was in that desperation He asked me, if I trusted Him at all.

I wanted to quit, I wanted to yell and cry more than I wanted to fight, I wanted to throw up my hands and just stop in my tracks, I didn't trust God as much as I thought I did. I wanted to let Him handle certain things on His own and I would handle the rest. You don't do anything half way with God, like I was doing, therefore He kept stripping me of what I wouldn't let go. So I was faced with a decision, to choose if I trusted that God wanted me to go to El Salvador and would provide or I didn't, wouldn't go anymore and keep trying to do life on my own. Since we're playing the guessing game, any ideas as to what I chose?

If you guessed letting go of another 'it' and surrendering even more to Jesus and HIS WILL for my life, you'd be right. I let go of Bruce and all the independence that went along with him. I chose to instead hold onto with ALL of my might to the promise that God has amazing things in store for me in El Salvador. I chose to trust Him with every spec of my being that He will provide for me like He always has and always will, that somehow come March 28th (my birthday, coincidentally!) I will be on a plane going to share the gospel, pray for the sick, and contend for hi
s kingdom in El Salvador.

Our team will be serving alongside a local church, La Ruta(The Route) in San Salvador. From La Ruta we will conduct healing services in rural churches as well as gospel outreaches in local high schools. Previous teams have seen incredible miracles in the healing services and many student have come to faith in Christ in the schools. We are trusting God for mighty miracles in Jesus' name and for many to come into the kingdom with all our initiatives.

My financial deadlines are approaching and I am left praying and working my butt off to come up with the money! I have $410 of support raised so far and I am left to raise $1,000 dollars by February 15th, and then the $700 by March 10th. So I'm reaching out far and wide for help!

I pray that you consider supporting me financially. A gift of $50, $100 or $150, or any amount is more than appreciated and welcome as well as tremendously needed. If you cant support me financially then I pray you come along side me in praying for the trip as well as God providing for me and my team to go! 

Just so you know, gifts are tax deductible and can either be mailed to:

Anastasia Plumb
c/o City Central Church
425 N. Tacoma Ave
Tacoma, Washington 98403

or can be donated online by clicking the link below;

http://www.catalystschool.com/give

Click the 'First Year' student and then when you put my name in type 'El Sal' next to it.

Thank you for considering supporting me through prayer and/or giving. This trip would literally be impossible without the generosity of so many. Grateful for you heart, your belief in me and my dreams and taking the time to read this and love on me!

The Rock Winter Retreat 2015

This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to serve along side some incredible leaders and take our little family of middle and high schoolers to Buttercreek Lodge for the Youth Winter Retreat. This jammed packed weekend led to breakthrough in so many of the kids lives, as well as my own. We had the honor of having this godly couple Chad and Heather speak about the identity we carry as sons and daughters in Jesus Christ. 

As I was praying for the weekend I asked the Lord what He was going to do, and how I could help? He told me, "I will shift hearts back to me! I will win them over and bestow gifts upon them. I will mark them with my truth and my glory." I put this in bold because not only is it what the Lord spoke over the weekend, but I bold it so you and scroll back up to it and find it easily after I describe what took place this weekend. You're welcome for the bookmark.

This weekend, we started off with a road trip full of excited kids heading up to the woods to escape. When we finally landed in Buttercreek they were all too  eager to unload and start the weekend of fun in store for them. Unpacked both literally and to me what seemed to feel like an under layer of unpacking too place, everyone in that cabin became lighter, in simpler words, Jesus came into the room and man did the atmosphere change. We began worship and started club and the kids became wrapped up in the present with the ones around them. Chad and Heather shared their testimonies with such vulnerability, hearts softened and the Holy Spirits presence feel upon the room. They began the weekend dropping the hammer on the enemy and declaring over the kids that their identity in Christ sends Satan running for the hills. AMEN! 

Now if you're reading this thinking how could it get any better, well take a deep breath and get ready, because it did. Then next morning as the groggy kids were waking up from staying up until 3am the night prior because they're kids and that's just the things they do, the Lord moved on my heart and just whispered, "Watch how I show up today. Watch my love overflow in these little ones, in these hearts around you." And so I did. 

As laughs followed our hilarious program team, and songs of praise followed worship once again the Holy Spirit fell upon the room with even greater force. As we worshiping, the atmosphere was taken over by love, and soon to follow was an even greater revelation of the Lords love for us. Chad once again came up to speak and shared about Gods immense love for all His children, that's right adults are metaphorical children too. Then we broke up into girls and guys groups and Heather spoke to the girls room and Chad the guys. Heather spoke love into the girls hearts, the love of their Heavenly Father. She brought awareness to what society is calling love to look like, how its portrayed as immediate, its conditional, its tormenting, it involves triangles, and it had an end if things aren't "perfect". She brought awareness how our lenses are shifted to view love as fleeting and hard to find, how it remembers mostly bad and seldom good. Then she paused, feeling the prompting of the Holy Spirit she had us declare who we were because the scariest thing to the enemy is a Christian who knows who they are. Let me repeat myself, the scariest thing to Satan is you knowing EXACTLY who you are and how you were created.

[[ We declared at the top of our lungs, "We are daughters of the Most High King! We are beautiful! We are loved! We are seen as treasures to God. We are wonderfully made. We reflect the image of God. We are daughters of the Most High King, Satan you cannot touch me!" ]]

Now because I'm a girl, I don't know exactly what the guys did, but what I've heard was that Chad had them close their eyes and ask the Lord to give them a present. He asked them to shut their eyes and ask, "Lord what do you want to give me?" ALL of the guys were saw amazing pictures of the Lords promises and gifts and smiles spread across each of their faces in the presence of Jesus. 

Moving into the afternoon the kids were able to explore outdoors and walk down to the river we were by! They played and hung out with each other for hours and played ridiculous games. Laughter erupted from the living room during Battle of the Bands (Taylor Swift Edition) and all I could help but pray was, "Lord let these memories, these moments be with them the rest of their lives." Finally after a meal that we all could have sworn was from heaven, thank you Amy Buskirk, we transitioned into our evening club. Chad brought the house down again as he highlight the Temptation of Jesus in Luke 4 in a completely new way. Coming off of a 40 day fast God allowed Satan to tempt Jesus, saying "If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread." Obviously Jesus was hungry, 40 DAYS without food! Come one I get hungry from 40 minutes without food, anyway the part that Chad highlighted was the specific wording, "IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD..." The devils schemes are never new, the devil was having Jesus question his identity. JESUS! And guess what, because Jesus lives within you, Satan will come at full force to attack your identity. To get you to question everything about who you truly are. It was after that we had the kids stand up and we were able to pray and minister to them with the Lord. 

Needless to say tears were spewing out of my own eyes, let alone others as kids received revelations of who they are! Thank you Lord for how wonderfully you made every single little one in that lodge, that was a room full of powerful prayers, worshipers, servants, speakers and kingdom shakers! 

This is the time you scroll back up to the bold to remember what the Lord told me He was going to do this weekend because He more than came through. Kids lives were changed this weekend and I got to witness the Lords power in such a beautiful way. Looking back at this weekend I pray its more than the typical camp high that follows this retreat, I pray this weekend was a steak in the ground claiming victory of their identity of who they are! I pray this weekend impacted every single one of the littles ones hearts as much as it impacted my own.

Community Saved Me

What’s a community? What do you think of when you hear that word?

The dictionary defines community as; a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.

The world tell us community is the relationships with the people immersed in our everyday lives, at school, our work place, neighbors, etc.

The church tells us it’s the body, the family of your fellow believers, your small groups and bible studies.

I grew up with the mentality that community was something you were just around, you didn’t need to dive in, you didn’t need their help, you just kept your head down and never spoke up. I’m going to hit you with the same truth that I found out, THAT IS NOT COMMUNITY.

Then I learned. As I was thrusted into a community of believers with Catalyst my world became radically changed. I went from briefly being asked “How are you?”, and quickly responding “Good, and you?” to maintain social etiquette, to being asked “How are you doing?” in a completely new way.

Same question yet with such a different delivery. It came from people around me who didn’t know anything about me yet cared how my heart was truly doing in that very moment. It came from people who wouldn’t settle with a just “Good!” but truly wanted to hear the hard stuff. They didn’t give up on me. Now don’t get me wrong, I rejected this whole new world for a while at first, and would give brief comments about how I was doing, but even with my arm held out pushing people away, they never left. As my arm started to lower, I found myself opening up about, well everything. I became more vulnerable with people because there was a safety that came with the people that surrounded me. Slowly and surely they came along side me as Jesus was healing my heart and helping put all my broken pieces back together. They began seeing all my mess, the hard stuff and they remained right beside me.

My view of community shifted, community to me are the people who you’re laying your life down beside. Its people who cherish your heart above all things and people who view you constantly in the light that The Lord sees you in. Community embraces you at your worst and commits to building you to be your best. Community laughs with you and has fun in the daily life adventures that become cherished memories. Community has the ability to save you if you truly embrace it.

Jesus has placed me in Tacoma, Washington, in the rain and cloudy days, into a mansion with 20+ people, and into the heart of a community that has truly shifted my life and has loved me so well that I can’t help but thank Him for choosing me and exposing me to Catalyst.

So, “How am I doing?” WELL, let me tell you friends!

I truly feel alive for the first time in so long.

The Lord has been surfacing many hard things that I honestly didn’t know my heart contained. I’m being peeled back layer by layer and all of my mess is becoming exposed. Why? Because at the end of the day my sin doesn’t turn Him away and He just wants my pure heart at the bottom of it all. For the first time in my life, I am a complete mess and I probably cry more than I have in my entire life but I have never trusted Jesus with my life so much as I do in this moment. In all the lessons and crying out to Him I hold nothing back anymore with Him or people around me. I’ve learned that I can’t do it on my own, I was never meant to and the people He’s placed around me, well alongside The Lord, they’ve saved me.

Hello, Tacoma!

September 6, 2014

Well I’ve landed in Tacoma, Washington. It only took a week and 1,200 miles of driving up the coast with my mama but I made it. My mom guys, was a trooper and this past week with her was truly a blessing! It takes a strong woman to put up with my insane music for countless hours at a time, let alone my driving and words cannot express how happy my heart was every step of the way. It was a trip of bonding and rest that we both so desperately needed, so PRAISE Jesus for the time we got to spend together.

I guess to simply say how I’m doing now well, I’m now terrified yet extremely excited. It was different thinking about committing a year during the summer. Maybe because I was already in Tacoma and it didn’t look much different than just staying longer. But since going home, visiting my friends and family; all my loved ones, the reality slowly approached me as the month passed on. I waivered here and there, unsure of the huge leap I was planning on taking, but regardless I knew in my heart I was going. It is not without shaking knees and weak ankles that I now take this jump.

Jump where? Well. The thing about the shore (my life) is you can become very complacent in your ways and routines. The shore has this allure that makes you okay with enough and makes you happy without knowing what more feels like. This summer as I edged away from the shoreline and into the water, safely on a nice boat of course (baby steps guys!), I got the taste of more. Now, desperate for everything that comes with more, I’m jumping head first off this boat and emerging myself completely.

Okay, okay, what is more? Why do you keep saying more? Well, more is the easiest way I can put a novels worth of my new wants and desires of my heart. More is growing in my faith, going deeper into my relationship with Jesus, and experiencing life in an entirely new way that was never known to me before. More is the aftermath of completely surrendering yourself to God and letting him take full control in every aspect of your life, and obeying Him! More is having no fear of the future, the unknown, the next mountain, none of it! More is getting the courage to jump, and actually doing it. (I hope that explains it a little!)

So now, here I am! Do I know what this entire jump entails, of course not! But I am praying that I can get a sneak peek soon enough. Friends, I now need to ask a huge favor of you. I need you to come along side me in prayer, because well your girl needs a lot of it. In completely uprooting my life and moving to Washington, my heart is missing home more than ever. Help pray for God’s amazing peace to overflow me. Also, I am still attending NAU online since I’m stubborn and want to finish school and graduate on time, so I need prayer for stress to remain far away from me and that I stay diligent in my studies and classes for both NAU and Catalyst Seminary. (I like to procrastinate!) Lastly, I now need to find a job up here to help pay for school and well living, so if you could lastly come along side me in praying for financial provision as well as landing a new job fast it would be greatly appreciated! I trust God will provide 100% and I am confident that all of these prayers will be heard and answered because I’ve seen Him provide in so many ways already! So thank you in advance for praying and loving me so well!

Catalyst Summer Program

This is my journey and look into my heart and my relationship with Jesus this summer season through Catalyst Training School in Tacoma, Washington. You’ll have to forgive since words have never been a strong suit of mine and give me grace as I attempt to put the amazing workings of God into mere words. The program itself focuses on training in prayer, restoration and missions. To build up the kingdom of God that he has called us into and jump head first into a season of healing and faith in Him. In my case and the metaphor that I’ll often return to is; my adventure up the mountain. Since we often see summiting a mountain as a triumphant accomplishment, my faith often never sees a summit, rather just swaying from left to right gradually going up. It is with a hopeful heart that this is a season to summit that mountain, only to be able to see higher mountains to strive for. A personal relationship with Jesus should never be one with complacency in the swaying but rather a hunger to constantly want to know more, hear more, and do more with Him in you, to reach new summits.

Starting it all off the week was labeled “Freedom Week,” and rightfully so since it hones in on Gods original design for us and who He’s created us to be as well as identifying ‘strongholds’ that hinder our relationship with Him because of past injustices and pain. Through many tears and prayers God worked within my heart to bring up the areas that have been harden as life and the enemy had come only to steal and destroy. Light was brought to the area of darkness in seeing how much of a hold ‘self-sufficiency’ had within my mind and heart. Having the mentality that all I really needed in this world was myself, and that in worst come to worst situations, I would be able to take care of myself. Seeing this was rooted from my past of being adopted and not knowing if I would have a future in my first 5 years of life so in my head, all I had was myself in this world. If you know anything about me, this is a HUGE revelation since I constantly struggle with trusting other people. What I didn’t know is this also was how I viewed my relationship with God. I had never put my whole and complete trust in Him just in case the worst of worst situations had come up. I have been blessed so wonderfully with the people that surround my life and the people God has placed in my life to help me. Seeing this now, I’m so thankful for all who have put up with my stubborn heart in being so closed off for years. I broke off the spirit of self sufficiency within my life to open up my heart to be vulnerable to the people God has placed in my life and to Him as well. That being a mess is okay, and relying on community only makes me stronger. Do I still have work to do within myself daily? Absolutely. Healing only comes to those who seek it out, so I strive everyday to light up the areas of my heart that have been dark too long. And it is with knowing Gods original design for me that helps motivate me to become a daughter worthy of her Heavenly Father.

When we began to focus in on “Hearing God’s Voice,” since He is a God who is alive and speaking, we are able to hear from Him. The first week we were able to remove some of the major strongholds that prevent us from hearing from God clearly. In complete transparency this is an area of my faith that I have often struggled with. I hadn’t grown up being told God speaks to you, so when people started talking about God speaking to you then and there, I bailed. I shut down because I couldn’t “hear” God and then I felt rejected because what seemed like everyone else was able to hear from him, I couldn’t. We were practicing on speaking original design over people and usually my mind is racing with thoughts and chaos, but when I tuned in to hear from God it was the first time my mind was blank. Completely silent. As a person that strives for perfection naturally this all was frustrating because I thought it meant something was wrong with me. That God was mad at me and wasn’t talking to me. That then turned quickly to anger letting my thoughts consume me, I began thinking, “What kind of Father ignores their kid and doesn’t talk to them?” Looking back now it all seems ridiculous but at the time it truly was heart breaking. About ready to quit and leave the school and summer program early I sought out some of the staff to tell them all what was going on. Basically after an intense prayer session, ugly crying for what felt like hours I got revelation. Let’s say my relationship is like a house, and my front door is completely open to God and everything he wants to do in me. Mi casa, su casa! But even with that complete openness if you looked around, I also had my back door opened. It was my Plan B. As a just in case God decides he doesn’t want in anymore, I had an escape route. Let me share a secret with everyone, GOD DOESN’T LEAVE YOU. He never doesn’t want to not be in your life anymore. Getting that picture, praying that my back door is forever slammed shut and bolted closed I was in a sense recommitting my all to God. (We all have to die to ourselves completely, in my case sometimes more than once.) From that moment, we went back to praying over peoples original design and well, I heard God loud and clear for the first time. Why I ever doubted is silly! Because now knowing His voice and how he speaks to me, I look back at all the times he’s spoken to me and I laugh because I really could hear God all along. Yet another part of my mountain was climbed and conquered and I began to fall in love with Jesus in a whole new way.

Instead of seeing my relationship as a one way street where I tell him what my prayer requests are and hope he fixes some of them, I for the first time in my life saw it as a relationship! That He’s someone I can have conversations with and ask for him to speak into my life, daily! I began falling love with the small ways he shows His love for me throughout the day, and how even my smallest prayers are heard. I started seeing my relationships with the people in my life as blessings and began to have a new appreciation for well, everyone. It’s a crazy thing to have the revelation of God’s love because it seriously transforms your heart and you cannot have experienced it. God’s love is so radical, so all consuming and so incredible it’s over whelming, but you never stop wanting more!

Then seeing salvations this summer on our local outreaches, it showed me God doesn’t stop seeking after His one sheep. Seeing healings take place in front of my eyes showed me Gods power is everywhere and He wants us to brag about his love and glory and use us to touch people’s lives. Being taught how to evangelize to complete strangers and actually impact them with my words in a two minute encounter is seriously the coolest tool I have up my sleeve. Being taught that each of our stories has power, and is so important! That we shouldn’t be kept from sharing our testimonies because we haven’t had a hard life! That its just a way to share how much God has protected and blessed us! And if we have had hardships, then sharing how Gods saved us from it. Seeing how God, the Almighty loving and saving God, has transformed and saved my life and being able to relate to anyone in some part of my story in any encounter I have is something that even helps remind me daily of how awesome God is! I get to share about a God that saves because he once saved me! WOW! I have a confidence that I didn’t have about sharing Gods love story and I have the tools to be able to share to anyone, anytime, anywhere, seriously, that’s so cool! Being able to go out and minister and just love the one in front of us is probably one of the biggest highlights of my summer because I felt like I was being able to be used by God exactly how he wanted to use me in those moments!

This summer, in Tacoma, Washington, I had heart surgery. God picked me up from my mess of life, all my broken pieces and took his lost sheep to Catalyst Training School because He wanted me back. He scraped out all my garbage that was preventing me from hearing him, he pushed past and broke down all my walls that I had built up to keep the world out and struck my heart. He took out my old crummy broken heart and replaced it with a brand new one, a new one full of light and joy! He brought that light and joy back into my life where I thought darkness would forever remain. Okay, this sounds dramatic but its so true! I was living in lukewarm Christianity, completely complacent in attending church every Sunday, and blaming God if something was going wrong in my life, praying for him to fix it and giving myself credit when everything was going right. I was living a self sufficient life that kept everyone I loved at an arm distance away because I only ever felt like I had myself in this world. God, seeing this and being the jealous God that He is, didn’t want that. So He did what an almighty God does, he intervened and radically changed my life and I’m thankful for it. I was saved because of it all over again. I can’t ever undo what’s been done this summer. I can’t unsee God working in multiple peoples lives and hearts this summer and watching them grow deeper in their faith. His presence and love can’t be unfelt. I can’t not hear Him and know that’s Him speaking to me. I can’t change my heart back to being broken and gross, and nor would I ever want to!

I jumped head first into a season of unknown, into a summer committed to a summer full of prayer, restoration and missions. In digging deeper into my relationship with God, I experienced summiting my mountain. And now, I want more. Because that’s the funny thing about a surgery, you can try to forget it happened but a scar will be your constant reminder of what happened and you always have a new heart beating stronger and louder because of it. I climbed with intensity after God and our mountain this summer. And well, after reaching the mountains summit, you can try pretend to forget what happened, but you can never forget the view and you can’t escape the feeling that you want to go higher. The point I’m trying to make is simple. God continues to save us from the world, from our busy planned lives and from ourselves all the time. He never stops pursuing us because He wants ALL of us. After this summer, I want more of God just as much as He wants more of me, and I wish daily I had more to give him, and that’s what he wants, so now daily, I give Him my all. To be used by Him, and to be loved by Him, to start climbing our new mountain together with full intensity, ready for whatever he has for me and trusting he will make my path clear, however narrow it may be.